Benjamin
Posted by Rabbi Avi Heller on November 19, 2010 | Tags: Vayishlach
One of the most tragic stories in the first book of the Torah is the death of Rachel. Here is how the Torah describes her death:
"And they traveled from Beit El, and, while there was still a stretch of land to go before Efrat, Rachel went into labor and she suffered in her labor. And it was during the hard suffering of her labor when the midwife said to her 'Have no fear, for this one, too, shall be a son for you.' And it was as her soul departed - as she was dying - she called his name "Ben oni", but his father called him "Binyamin." And Rachel died and was buried on the way to Efrat, which is Bethlehem. And Ya'akov erected a monument over her grave, which is the monument of Rachels' tomb until this day." (Gen. 35:16-22)
As Ya'akov and his family complete their journey of return from exile to the Holy Land - when they are just a few scant miles from Yitzchak, his father -- Rachel goes into labor and dies. The love of Ya'akov'e life, she dies while still a young woman. Moreover, she is unable to make the journey home with Ya'akov or to even meet Yitzchak; they never have the chance to even see each other. This is a tragedy for her, for Yitzchak and for Ya'akov. Since she dies on the road, she has to be buried separately, alone, cut off from all the other couples who are buried in the Cave of the Patriarchs in Hevron. In addition, Rachel's greatest tragedy in lifewas her barrenness. Even when she had finally given birth to Yosef (after so many years), she named him Yosef ("may he add") in order to say "may Hashem grant me another child." At the moment of Binyamin's birth - the granting of this wish -- she passes away.
However, for Ya'akov, the events of Rachel's death were bitterwseet. True, his wife died tragically and early. However, at the same time, his twelfth son, beautiful Binyamin (Benjamin), is born. Benjamin is his only child born in the land of Israel[1] and is also born quite a few years after his brothers. Some commentators (e.g. Rashbam) says that Binyamin actually means "son of my old age", and is a term of affection. He has to express thanksgiving that even given the rigors of the road and the tragedy of his mother's death that young Binyamin is alive and healthy.
If you look carefully (verse 20), you can see that Rachel herself is the one who first names Binyamin. She calls him "ben oni", the child of my grief or suffering. She knows that, though he will live, she will die. However, Ya'akov changes the name from "ben-oni" to "binyamin.", the son of my right hand. What is the significance of Ya'akov reiterating - and changing - the name that Rachel gave their youngest son? Is he disgreeing with her? Altering her wishes? What does this add and why does the Torah tell us about it?
Ramban (Moses ben Nachman, Spain, 13th century) suggests that Ya'akov both wants to honor Rachel and sweeten her bitter words at the same time. He writes:
"and what seems correct in my eyes is that his mother called him "ben oni", meaning "the son of my mourning"...and his father interpreted "oni" [as having the meaning of] "my strength"...and therefore he called him "Binyamin", the son of power or strength, since the right hand always {signifies} strength and victory...he wanted to call him by the name that his mother called him, for all his sons were named by their mothers, but he 'translated' it into goodness and strength."
In other words, Ya'akov respected and honored Rachel's chocie of name, but disagreed with her about its meaning. She saw pessimism and finality, that they would celebrate Binyamin's birth while they were sitting shiva for her, that she would never know him and he would never know her, making little orphan Binyamin into a tragic case. Nor was she wrong! But he instead saw optimism and possibility, strength and hope, in Binyamin. He refused to dwell on the past and only looked to Binyamin's future.
It also strikes me as interesting that Binyamin, so to speak, goes through a name change.His mother called him Ben Oni first and then his father changed his name. Name changes are very familiar to us in B'reisheet, for Avram's name was changed to Avraham, Sarai's to Sara and Yaakov to Yisrael.[2] Perhaps there is a connection between Ya'akov's own name change to Yisrael (which happens immediately before this in this week's sidra, see 35:10) and Binyamin's name change.
Ya'akov's name change differs from Avraham's[3] in three ways: a) Ya'akov gets an entirely new name (Yisrael), while Avraham and Sarah just have a letter added or changed; b) Ya'akov is given the name change twice (32:29 and 35:10) whle Avraham's is only given once[4], and c ) Ya'akov continues to be called both Ya'akov and Yisrael (interchangeably) while the Talmud cautions us never to speak about Avraham by his original name. Ya'akov's name is not really changed, per se, but enhanced.
Perhaps it is the same with Binyamin. His original name (ben oni) has the epithet of "yamin" added in to it. Even though we refer to him as Binyamin, his legacy is dual. His birth was rooted in the tragedy of his mother's death (which we remember, because Rachels' Tomb is still a separate location), but also symbolizes a triumph of completion. The twelve tribes become complete when Binyamin is born, the journey of Ya'akov is completed. In the end, even the Temple is built in the territory of Binyamin partly because of what Binyamin's birth represented.
This says something very special about our Ya'akov. Ya'akov spent his entire life seeking to live in peace, but anguish and strife awaited him at every turn. He was forced to run away from home, was enslaved by Lavan, lost his wife and, shortly after this, he will be deprived of Yosef, the victim of sibling rivalry. Ya'akov lives perhaps the hardest and most punishing life of all the patriarchs, Yet, when he looks down at his new baby boy - Binyamin - rather than succumbing to the tragedy and the realization of what he has lost, he instead focuses on that which he has gained, a special son, a sabra, a child of his old age, a memorial to Rachel.[5]
We can learn a lot from this in our own lives. There is a temptation to see the downside in all of our experiences. I sometimes come home from work frustrated and complain about how little I accomplished that day. After a few minutes of talking about it, Shira helps me realize that I actually accomplished a huge amount. For some reason, though, I was focusing on what I failed to accomplish or what I meant to accomplish and had completely forgotten all about what I DID accomplish. Poor Rachel, as she knows she is about to die, can only focus on the tragedy of her premature demise, rather than on the legacy she left behind, rather than the beautiful boy who was born to her.[6]
I would not be so trite as to say that the message of this weekly dose is to see the glass as half-full rather than half-empty. Instead, perhaps the messsage is to consider the gift of the water you have drunk out of the glass - how it tasted, how it nourished you -- rather than the water which you have not, which is still in the glass. And if you have to focus on the water still in the glass, consider how great it will be when you drink it. Even when the glass is empty, you will have more to be thankful for.
Ya'akov was a kind of relentless optimist. In each challenge that came his way, he found reason for hope and inspiration. When the rock covered the well, he did not dwell on how impossible it would be to move it, he just did what he had to do. When he was fooled into marrying Leah, he did not write sad poetry about it; he went back to work for Rachel. When Lavan tried to cheat him, he did not play the victim, he just figured out a way to turn the tables. And when Rachel died - tragically and suddenly - he found joy in his son and kept moving forward. May we be like Ya'akov, recognizing the good that we have and being irrepressibly optimistic about the future. Shabbat shalom!
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[1] See Rashi, who interprets Binyamin to mean "son of the south" sicne they traveled south into Canaan.
[2] We could also perhaps point to Midrashic name changes such as Sara also being known as Yiska (Jessica) or Hagar also being known as Ketura.
[3] Yitzchak's name is never changed, another way in which he typifies holding the "middle" ground of our forefathers.
[4] However, Sara's name is changed as well, while none of Ya'akov's wives have a name change of their own.
[5] Once we have this is in mind, we can appreciate perhaps more fully how great the trauma is for Ya'akov when the brothers come back from Egypt and say that the Par'o has requested Binyamin. He is last living remnant of Rachel in Ya'akov's life, plus but the very image of Binyamin is the triumph over tragedy and now he is threatened with becoming the latest tragedy by being dragged down to Egypt. If you were in Ya'akov's shoes, how would you feel? What would you have done?
[6] Some commentators interpret the words of the midwife 'Have no fear, for this one, too, shall be a son for you" to be exactly this consolation. It's true that you are going to die, but the child will live.
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Rabbi Avi HellerJoined: July 27, 2007 Originally from Denver CO, Rav Avi received a BA from BU and Rabbinic ordination and an MA in Bible from YU. Before joining MJE, he was Director of Jewish Education at BU Hillel, co-directed the BU Jewish Learning Initiative on Campus and was an Associate University Chaplain. He has been the... Divrei Torah (67) |
