Asking Good Questions
Posted by Rabbi Avi Heller on February 5, 2010 | Tags: Yitro
A Jewish high school senior once came to talk to me about dating non-Jewish girls. He knew I would be opposed, but he was hoping he could demolish me in argument. Then, he could tell his parents that the Rabbi didn't have any good answers and neither do you. Neither he nor his parents were particularly religious or knowledgeable about Judaism, but his parents felt strongly traditional and wanted to have Jewish grandchildren. This was not eaxctly the first thing on his mind. He started by asking me "Why SHOULDN'T I date non-Jewish girls?", which is a fair question, though it's a bit biased. (I could just respond: "Why SHOULD you?") However, I think in today's world (where it's somewhat prevalent) it's an excellent question that requires an excellent answer. His second question - and the root of his issue - was "Aren't they human beings, too?" This is not a good question and though it can be answered in one way ("yes, of course"), in a more important sense, it can never be answered at all. What possible relationship could there be between being human and being a suitable dating partner? My mom, brother and daughter are all human beings, as are newborn babies, octagenarians and lots of Jewish girls who were not my type and I never considered dating any of them.
Bad questions simply can't be answered. Kids on the playground used to nag: "Are you stupid or just an idiot?" to which I think the conventional answer was "I know you are but what am I?" which is just responding to a bad question with another really bad question.
This immature and confused young man wanted to date a non-Jewish girl for his own reasons and wanted to justify it by believing that he had devastating questions about Judaism. He thought his humanity question and a few other zingers were TKO's to organized religion. I told him - kindly - that he didn't know enough about Judaism to ask a devastating question. You know who asks that kind of question? People who have intimate and deep knowledge of Judaism. The law professor asks better questions than the 1L students - it's his/her JOB to teach the law students how to ask hard questions! My hard questions on Judaism are ten times better and harder than his questions. You know who asks a hard questions? Rambam asks hard questions.
But a funny thing happens when you get to know so much Torah that you can ask the really hard questions. You don't ask in order to destroy Judaism, to tear it down and demolish it, but to build it up, to seek the truth, to understand. That's part of the beauty of a great question; it doesn't destroy; it illuminates[1].
I often think about this when we get to the sidra of Yitro, which begins with the story of Moshe's father-in-law (Yitro) hearing about the adventures of the Israelites and coming to visit them in the desert. Many words of Torah have begun by asking why the Torah felt it was so important to name an entire Torah portion for a non-Jew who was actually a pagan priest! After all, Yitro is the portion in which the Ten Commandments are given, but it is named after this guy?! Obviously, if the Torah accorded Yitro this great honor of naming a sidra after him, there must be something special about him or what he did. We must look deeper and find out what it is!
With apologies to anyone who has ever started a d'var torah this way, this is a question that doesn't deserve the dignity of an answer. Only good questions should be answered, because excellent and satisfying answer can only be found if good questions have been asked first. A terrible question like this shouldn't even be asked![2]
First of all, Yitro is not the only sidra named for a non-Jew. There is also Balak, who was a wicked Moabite king who wanted to curse the Jews! Also, Korach (who was a bad guy) and Noach (who was also not Jewish) plus sidrot such as "vayetzei", ("and he went out") or "vayishlach" ("and he sent") which have bnames that are not such important words. Moreover, Yitro wasn't just any non-Jew - he was Moshe's father-in-law, he was a righteous and wise man who helped Moshe and the Jews and he seems to have changed his whole world-view to monotheism after discovering the one true God. So it wouldn't be crazy to name something after him in the first place!
But the real fallacy here is to assume that the "names" of sidrot are meaningful. In reality, the Torah and the sages never gave names to the Torah portions; they simply referred to them by their first words. Thus, the first portion of the Torah is called "b'reisheet" ("in beginning") because that is its first word and this week's portion is known as Yitro because it's first two words are "vayishma Yitro" ("and Yitro heard")[3]. There's nothing special to be learned from the "name" of a sidra. Asking the question is barking up the wrong tree.
If one wanted to ask a better question, one might try: "why did the Rabbis choose to begin this week's Torah reading with the story of Yitro?" which is legitimate, but I am doubtful if it's interesting or edifying. The previous section deals with the victory over the Amalekhites and is a natural and intuitive stopping point.
However, this is not to say that there aren't awesome questions about this section of Torah. The great classic commentaries struggle and disagree about a different question. They ask when the story of Yitro happened. According to some of them, it (chap. 18) happened in the desert BEFORE the revelation on Mt. Sinai (chap 20.) If so, everything is in a perfectly logical and chronological order. But the Ibn Ezra (among others) believes (based on other evidence) that the story of Yitro happened AFTER the revelation on Mount Sinai. If so, he has a HUGE question: Why is Yitro here? This story is totally out of place and doesn't belong here!
Aha, says Ibn Ezra, but there is a very compelling reason to put Yitro here, where he can become the beginning of a Torah portion and a prelude to the revelation. In the previous section, non-Jews were represented by the Amalekhites, who were rapacious and evil and who we are commanded to fight and kill. Just in case you might believe that that is the Torah's attitude to non-Jews, it immediately showcases an entirely different paradigm of Jewish-non-Jewish dialogue and relations. In the story of Yitro, there is respect, civility and understanding between Jews and non-Jew. Here, the non-Jew is sagacious and good. Thus, the Torah specifically put Yitro's story in the wrong spot so that it would be next to Amalek, to serve as a contrast between them, an alternative vision of how Jews and non-Jews can dialogue and interact.
This is a wonderful answer (which is not to say it's indisputable) and it deserves further attention. But my interest today is more that it begins with a beautiful question. Nechama Leibowitz, the great 20th century Tanach teacher, often used to ask her students "Ma kashe l'Rashi?" (What's bothering Rashi?) because Rashi never put a pen to paper unless he first had a question to answer. The true student of Rashi can only understand ther master if he first does as Nechama instructed . The student must also ask the question - and be bothered by it - and only then receive his or her answer. If they receive Rashi's answer but have never asked or been bothered by the question, then they are playing half a game of Jeopardy with the Torah.
May we be blessed with the ability, clarity and knowledge to ask killer questions and to be patient and persistent enough to seek satisying answers. Shabbat Shalom!
Footnotes
[1] One of the forbidden forms of creative acts on Shabbat is "soteir", destroying. The understanding of this act is that it is only forbidden if the tearing down is done for the sake of building up. If it is done as a real destructive act, it is not a forbidden act. Here, too, a devastating question that destroys an argument, assumption or status quo is only a great question when it serves to prepare the way for a new argument or understanding
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Rabbi Avi HellerJoined: July 27, 2007 Originally from Denver CO, Rav Avi received a BA from BU and Rabbinic ordination and an MA in Bible from YU. Before joining MJE, he was Director of Jewish Education at BU Hillel, co-directed the BU Jewish Learning Initiative on Campus and was an Associate University Chaplain. He has been the... Divrei Torah (67) |
